Back gnawing

I sometimes wonder
why women are such
bitches?

Why they are back biters
and why they do mean things
when they have an issue
with you?

Like asking everyone in the office
except you
if they can pick up lunch
for them.

Then they leave you all alone,
while they go as a group to
pick it up.

I sometimes wonder
why I've been given
this wonderful
love
and then you have to leave
and I don't get to feel
your warm body next to
mine in the morning
before work.

Or do fun things together
like road cruising
and trespassing.
Or just being together
in general
listening to tunes
or enjoying silence.

The thought rolling
around in my head
that is making it hard
to have fun is that
I know you'll be
away for a whole month.
Even though I know you
have to go.
Just get it over with.
I need you.

I sometimes wonder
where my head is
and
why I forget to write things
in my check book
and
then make it so I
can't afford to buy a gift
for the wedding I'm supposed
to go to this weekend
unless I put it on credit.

Seems like a dumb thing to
charge to me because
everyone knows
that they won't
stay together anyway.

I feel like having a tear.
Maybe it's time to go
on break and get some
fresh air.