Notes from a Holiday

Pier Fun

The setting sun casts a shadow across the cooling sand.
The waves crash at our feet and
water curls around our toes.

The sunset brilliant with oranges, pinks and purples
it sizzles down into the waterline of the big lake.
It makes a nice golden evening
that silhouettes the people walking on the pier,
making them seem unreal - just part of the
landscape...part of my minds eye.

I see the surfers out there trying to catch
a wave beside the pier where the water
breaks and makes a curl.

I can smell fuel from the big boats going
by in the channel - it's just
part of how it should smell here...
How the familiarity of all of it
makes me dig up memories from
many years past
is just amazing.

I miss the old times when my Grandma and Grandpa had their boat
and would dock it in Grand Haven for us to sleep in.
I miss the days of swimming all day and then sleeping
in the rocking boat, with the smell of the water and the
sounds of water life around us.
Now they're tired and they don't DO
like they used to and it makes me
sad and it makes me long to be a kid again
safe in someone else's care.
With a family that was still strong.

For now, I watch the kids run in the water and dig my toes in the sand.
They're so happy to have room to move and get sand in their
underwear and run around freely.
They laugh when the waves wash over them.
It makes me happy for them - that they will have those memories
of going to the big lake in the summer.
I am trying to accept that it's now our job to be the ones
that provide the safe loving environment
and instead of being the loved one, I have to be the loving one.

I look to the sunset with longing...
such a beautiful treasure
to file away in my ever changing
gallery of the mind.

The amber glow of the evening starts to fade
and I wish that I could start over again...
with the night...with my life...
But I can't.
So for now, I just enjoy
the smell of the lake
breeze and the memories
rolling around in my head.